Sharing a home can be a great way to keep living costs down while working towards a bigger financial goal.
It’s also becoming a common way to get ahead, with around 15 per cent to 20 per cent of all Australian dwellings housing multiple generations or mixed adult groups.i
However, the reality of a move back home with the folks or a shared household with friends, can mean discovering that people you love, like, or generally get along with, have some surprisingly different ideas about how a home should work.
Because living with other people is intimate. You see their routines, their moods, their habits and, inevitably, the things they do that drive you slightly mad. And remember, they see yours too.
Everyone is different and the trick to a successful share household isn’t trying to get everyone to live the same way, it’s coexisting with others who may not live the way you do, without anyone quietly losing their mind.
Different doesn’t mean wrong
You might like a quiet house in the morning. Someone else might be at their most conversational before 8am. You might like everything put away; they might regard the dining table as a perfectly good place to store three days’ worth of belongings.
Neither approach necessarily makes one person inconsiderate and the other a saint. They’re just different.
Some tolerance is part of sharing a home. That doesn’t mean putting up with things that genuinely make you uncomfortable, but it can help to ask yourself whether something is actually a problem or simply not how you would do it.
After all, you probably have a few habits that others might not find so delightful either.
Work out what really matters
It helps to know your own non-negotiables. Maybe you need some quiet time, privacy or a bit of space to yourself. Maybe you genuinely don’t care about the shoes in the hallway.
Knowing the difference between a genuine need and a minor irritation can make sharing much easier.
You don’t have to comment on everything. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for your household is let the small stuff go.
Boundaries make things easier
Some things are important though and boundaries don’t have to be formal or awkward. Often, they’re simply about making your preferences clear.
You might ask for some notice before guests come over or let people know when you need some time to yourself.
It’s generally easier to talk about what you need than to tell someone what they’re doing wrong. And it cuts both ways. If you want your space and routines respected, offering that consideration to the people around you is a good place to start.
Raise issues early on
Household frustrations have a habit of accumulating. One small annoyance is manageable. The fifteenth one can suddenly feel like you are about to explode.
If something is genuinely bothering you, it’s usually worth mentioning before you’re furious. Keep it specific and focus on finding a solution rather than establishing who is at fault.
And if roles are reversed, try to hear them out. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been a terrible person to live with. Generally, it’s a simple remedy that would make life easier for everyone.
Remember, this is a chapter
If you’re sharing a home to save money, it can help to remember that it doesn’t have to be forever. Thinking of your current living situation as a step towards something, rather than somewhere you’ll be indefinitely, can make the occasional frustration easier to put in perspective.
Inevitably, there will be differences, awkward conversations and the occasional moment when you wonder why another human would load a dishwasher that way. That’s normal.
The goal isn’t a perfectly harmonious household but a home where different people can live comfortably in their own way, have their own space and still treat each other with consideration.
A little tolerance helps. Clear boundaries help. And being able to say, “Hey, this isn’t really working for me. Can we figure it out?” can prevent a tiny problem from evolving into a bigger one.
Because, if this is a temporary chapter on the way to something you’re working towards, it might be worth making the chapter a good one.
